


if only i had been faster i could've saved myself the heartache

by Nikka001



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Red String Soulmate, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Character Death, F/M, Lawyer Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Lost Love, Missed Connection, Red String of Fate, Romantic Soulmates, Stabbing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29260140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikka001/pseuds/Nikka001
Summary: We are all connected to our soulmate by a string. A red string that leads us to the greatest love of our lives. What happens if you never get that chance?
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	if only i had been faster i could've saved myself the heartache

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry
> 
> -Annika

* * *

You never think it’ll happen to you. Losing your soulmate before you even have a chance to know them. Losing them before you even have the chance to hold them in your arms and tell them how much they mean to you. It seems impossible that you could even possibly miss out on those moments with each other, yet it happens. It’s rare, of course, because most people find their soulmates pretty quickly. For some, however, those moments are snatched right out from under them before they can utter their first  _ hello. _

He’s sitting at his desk in the office, scribbling notes for his current case onto the legal pad in front of him, when he feels the sudden tug on the string in his chest. It shocks him out of his current state of mind, laser focused on the case at hand, the tugging like a sharp, dull pain and nothing like he’s ever felt before. He inhales sharply, grasping at his chest with one hand while the other tenses around the armrest of his chair, the pain growing and beginning to get to be much to bear. The familiar red glow from the string, the one that reminds him of his future and all that he desires to have, pulses before his eyes. 

It hits him at that moment, what the pulsing and pain really mean. He’s heard about it before but never thought it would happen to him. His pulse races and his blood runs cold as he pushes himself from his seat and moves out of his office, stumbling and tripping over his feet as he hurries through the floor and towards the elevators on the other side of the room.

“Carisi!” 

He hears his name being called out as he passes by several other attorneys and paralegals, all of them stopping and watching as he makes his way across the floor. He tunes them out though, all of their voices becoming nothing but a sea of static while he jams his finger against the button, praying for the elevator to come quick. He needs to hurry. He needs to get to her before it’s too late. 

The elevator dings, signaling its arrival, and startling Carisi out of his own head enough to climb inside before the doors close and the elevator starts its descent.

The numbers fall slowly, slower than he would like, but soon enough he’s on the garage level and running out of the doors as soon as they open. He runs through the parking structure, his breathing erratic and heart beating almost out of his chest. The pain is growing now, like a pounding inside his head and he lets out a frustrated growl as he picks up speed and hurries through the structure and out of the exit onto the street outside. 

With the sun beating down on him, Carisi weaves through the crowded Manhattan streets, trying to hurry but with so many people, it’s hard to move freely. He makes it to the end of the street when the glow of the string starts to brighten. His breath catches for only a moment when he realizes what it means. The stronger the glow, the closer they are to each other. He’s close. He’s getting closer.

He has to keep going. 

Carisi moves forward, determined to make it to the buildings on the other side of the road when he feels it. The erratic pulsing of the string in his chest. The pulsing that can only mean one thing. She’s dying. She’s almost gone. If he doesn’t find her now then she’ll be lost to him forever. He shakes his head to clear the thoughts but it doesn’t work. They’re still there. Eating away at him and fueling the tears that he can feel burning his eyes and falling down his cheeks. 

He knows he must look like a madman but he can’t help it. His throat bobs and a desperate scream falls from his lips, “I’m here!”

He cries and clutches at his chest. “Please, can you hear me? I’m here!”

“I’m here! Please—” Carisi chokes out through his sobs, throat beginning to go raw from his pleads and heart aching at the thought that he’s lost her already.

He runs towards the building directly in front of him, climbing the steps and banging on the door to the abandoned storefront. He cries out, pleading for someone to open the doors and let him in but there’s no answer. The string is fading. He can feel their connection getting weaker.

“Please! Don’t leave me! Not yet — please...I love you! Can you hear me? I love—”

He feels it then and it has him dropping to his knees. The snapping of the string, the severing of their connection, as the glow fades away and all he’s left with, is an empty space that will never be filled. 

* * *

Isn’t it funny? How one mistake, one simple lapse in judgement, can cost you everything that you hold dear? One moment made from a hasty decision can be your downfall. It can ruin everything that you’ve worked so hard to protect all because you couldn’t be bothered to ask for help. 

All Amanda had to do was ask for help. To stop being so stubborn, follow her Captain’s orders, and admit that she couldn’t do it all on her own. If she had just let her partner come with her at the start, then she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. She wouldn’t be fighting to survive. She would have someone there to keep her out of trouble. To keep her alive.

But she hadn’t.

She hadn’t and now here she was. Lying on the cold concrete basement floor of some old building she’d followed him into, one hand applying pressure to the stab wound in her abdomen while the other laid uselessly at her side. He’d broken that wrist, she was almost positive, and she was sure there was at least two other stab wounds that she couldn’t even see. She couldn’t see anything really. 

Except the string.

The string that gave her hope with it’s bright glow was now pulsing and fading and bringing her nothing but more pain than she was already in. Amanda scrunched her face and let out a trembling breathe as she pressed her hand harder against the wound, trying her best to slow the bleeding and give her soulmate more time. He had to be looking for her. He had to. She knows him and he wouldn’t let her die. He wouldn’t.

“Help...please, somebody...help me,” she cries out weakly. She coughs and cringes at the pain that shoots through her body at the simple action. 

She closes her eyes, wanting just a small moment without pain, when she hears it.

_ “Please, can you hear me? I’m here!” _

Her eyes open and she sees the glow from the string. It’s brighter but the pulsing is getting more erratic. 

He’s here. She can hear him, she can feel him, but she can’t see him. She knows he’s close and she wants to cry out to him but her voice is already so raw. Even if she does try, there’s no guarantee that he  _ will _ hear her.

_ “I’m here! Please—”  _ His voice cuts out and she knows he’s crying. Because she is too. 

“Hello? Please, I’m down here! I’m here! Please...I can hear you...I can — I can…” She lets out a strangled sob and gasps for air, the pain overwhelming and like a fire coursing through her veins. 

Faint, muffled pounding echoes through the room, she’s barely able to hear it because she’s so far from the front of the building. 

She opens her mouth to call out again, to try as hard as she can to get him to hear her. But her voice is cut off with another strangled gasp for air.

_ “Please! Don’t leave me! Not yet — please...I love you! Can you hear me? I love—” _

There’s a sharp snap in her chest. And then everything goes black. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry you guys. This was definitely an emotional one. I'm sorry. I hope you all liked it at least! Please feel free to let me know what you all think! I love hearing from everyone.
> 
> And, if you all would like to come and leave me a request on stories you'd like to see, please feel free to leave me a message over on Tumblr. I'd love to hear from everyone. 
> 
> You can find me at: thesupremeoverlordismysister
> 
> -Annika


End file.
